December in Facebook Posts, Part 2

December 22, 2016

I'm still doing Christmas baking. Yesterday, I made gingerbread boys. I got an idea just from a photo in a cookie recipe book I saw at the grocery store checkout but didn't buy. I put Teddy Graham crackers on some of the gingerbread boys and folded the arms over them, so that it looked like the boys were holding teddy bears. Today, I baked sugar cut-out cookies, holly leaves and bells. Mom and I decorated them together with some red and green royal icing. The holly leaves have red hot candies for holly berries, and the bells have silver nonpareils for clappers and decorative stripes of red hot candies.

December 24, 2016 

I'm watching "Meet Me in St. Louis" and waiting for my brother and family to arrive. Merry Christmas, my friends. 

December 25, 2016

It was a little different to begin this year's Christmas with a church service as it fell on a Sunday. I sang a solo, "Beautiful Star of Bethlehem." With all of the busyness of the season, I didn't practice it nearly as much I had hoped to do, but it turned out well and I wasn't overwhelmed with performance nerves. I enjoyed having practically the whole family with me this year for Christmas. Even my niece who was not able to travel to be with us this year talked to us and watched the present opening by Skype or Facetime. One of the funnier moments of the day happened when I tried on a new winter coat, my big gift from Mom and Dad this year. I should explain, for those who may not know, that I am the baby of the family and my three older brothers are eight, ten and twelve years older. I was sitting between brothers Tim and Bruce as I opened my gift. As I was trying on my coat, I began to struggle with the zipper which was asymmetrically offset to the left. Tim, on my left, began helping me with my zipper. Then I was puzzled by the coat's belt. The buckle had a piece to poke through a hole, but the belt itself had no holes. Bruce began arranging my belt the way he supposed it should go. The ridiculousness of the situation started to get to me, and I started laughing and said, "I need my brothers to dress me." Bruce then pats me on the head and says, "And we can pat you on the head and say that you are all ready for school."

December 26, 2016

Here is a funny conversation in our house this morning. We had seven family guests stay overnight. I came down this morning to find my two nephews, Bill, 29, and Joshua, 23, on airbeds in the living room. My brother Bruce, Bill's dad, was sitting nearby. I said, "Oh, is this a slumber party?" Bill says, "Yes, it's for the cool kids." Bruce tells me, "You weren't invited," and then, "You notice that I'm here." Some time after this came the admission that it was more like the nerdy kids. My brother Dan comes down, and he, Bruce and Bill begin talking about various sci-fi and space movies. Eventually, Bruce and Bill begin to mention a movie Dan has never seen and doesn't know. Bruce says to Dan, "You're not nerdy enough for us. Go over there by the cool kids." Dan says, in mock sadness, "I've been rejected by the nerds!"

December 27, 2016

I thought I found the perfect Christmas gift for my aging techie Dad this year: a T-shirt that says, "iTired, There's a nap for that." He's wearing it today. I just looked over at him and saw him stretched out on the loveseat, obeying the instruction on his shirt, and told him he was wearing the right shirt for the day. Brother Dan was also wearing the right shirt today. It says, "Coffee, the most important meal of the day." He came down to breakfast as the family was in a big discussion on Keurig coffee makers and K-cups. This was the Christmas of the K-cups. Mom and Dad just got themselves a new Keurig machine, and several (maybe all?) of us kids gave them various K-cups to use in it. It wasn't all coffee. Some of them were for cocoa or tea. We didn't have any repeat flavors or brands either. Our Korean honorary sister Jeannie gave them some Korean red ginseng tea, which is, apparently, good for their health and longevity.

December 28, 2016

Brother Dan and family will be staying with us until Friday. This photo is the result of last night's activity, putting together a jigsaw puzzle my friend Debra gave me for Christmas last year. It's a collage related to Jane Austen literature with quotes from various books. My brother Tim (well, nephew Matthew) gave me a new jigsaw puzzle this year. That one has twice as many pieces and is a photomosaic of Van Gogh's "Starry Night." I thought I should warm up with this one. Dad and nephews Joshua and Micah had fun puzzling with me last night. We stayed up pretty late and got chatting too.

December 28, 2016

My brother Dan posted the photo of me above on December 28th. I didn't post any words then, but I will now. This photo was taken at the 9/11 Memorial at Eagle Rock Reservation, West Orange, New Jersey. You can not see it from this perspective, but you can see the New York City skyline from this point. I was reading the names of victims, many of whom were New Jerseyans, on the monument.

December 28, 2016

Another funny moment in our family. At dinner, we were discussing Gary Chapman's five love languages, which are, in no particular order, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and giving. The family wondered what my love language was, and mom thought it might be physical touch. I was sitting between brother Dan and sister-in-law Dorothy who both immediately began to stroke and pet my back with both hands.Nephew Micah reached across the table and began to brush my arm with his fingertips. I said, "I feel so loved," and then, "I also feel like a golden retriever."

January 2, 2016

(Okay, so this is technically not a December post, but it deals with a December event.)

I had an eventful weekend. This Saturday, I had the privilege of attending the wedding of two friends, Kathy and Steve, who had their first date twenty years ago! I enjoyed the ceremony at a little church where the former chaplain of our singles' group is the director of youth ministries. The reception, held at the church, was a combined winter wonderland and New Year's theme. I enjoyed seeing old friends I hadn't seen in a while and meeting some new ones, including the nine-year-old piano player from the ceremony who enjoys reading and writing stories. Afterwards, I met up with friends at the home of Todd and Jo Anne for a New Year's Eve party. I'm so happy and blessed to have a number of good friends.

Love and Friendship: The Niece's Big Day

A few years ago, I met up with another book loving friend at Barnes & Noble for coffee and ... books. It was near Valentine's Day, and I didn't manage to leave the store without buying books: a collection of true love stories related to the Titanic and a collection of great historical love letters. It was in this second book that I read one man's opinion that marriage is just friendship on a more exalted level. I'm sure my newly married niece Amanda and my nephew-in-law -- I've decided he's my nephew-in-law -- Ben, would agree with that thought. They've known each other since preschool and dated for seven years while Ben earned a degree in pharmacology.

The wedding service was performed by Amanda's maternal uncle, a minister. He gave a short sermon to the couple with a message very similar to that expressed in an earlier blog, emphasizing patience, forgiveness and bearing with one another's faults. Some of his words were directed at Amanda and some at Ben. Once in a while, during the message to Amanda, I caught some comical looks on Ben's face, and if I can read body language like I think I can, his expressions seemed to say, teasingly, "Are you taking note of this, Amanda?"

I noticed my sister-in-law wiping some tears from her eyes, but I did not think that would be a problem for me. Later, at the reception, I saw my brother Dan dance with his daughter. Remembering what a Papa's girl Amanda is and how Dan longed for a little girl even before she was born, I felt a little emotional too.

Amanda had the perfect song choice, "I Loved Her First" by Heartland.

"But I loved her first and I held her first and a place in my heart will always be hers. From the first breath she breathed, when she first smiled at me, I knew the love of a father runs deep, and I prayed that she'd find you some day, but it's still hard to give her away. I loved her first."

It was also touching to see Amanda dance with her husband and witness how content and happy they were together.

They also had the perfect song for their childhood friendship turned to romance, "Lucky" by Jason Mraz.

"I'm lucky to be in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been, lucky to be coming home again."

The wedding cake consisted of one small cake and lots of little airy white cupcakes frosted in purple and white. I sat by brother Tim at the reception who insisted that purple tasted better than white. Halfway through my little cake, I decided purple tasted like almond. There was a distinctive almond flavor in the frosting. (It turns out white tastes like almond too.) Tim also noted to the father of the bride that the little cakes were full of mini pearls (Minnie Pearls.) Clark men like their puns.

The cupcakes were circled with filigreed papers. The women at my table all noted this and enjoyed them. The filigreed papers matched our dinner plates, made of lightweight plastic but with an open lacework pattern in the rims. Tim joked that it was best to avoid getting any tomato sauce on that part of our plates or we'd make pretty stenciled patterns on the white tablecloth.

At the event's finale, just before the bride reemerged in her more casual lace sheath dress, I joined up with the father of the bride, standing beside him with my tube of bubbles, practicing in case I forgot how to do this childhood activity. Dan and I looked across the path left open for the bride and groom to our senior parents who looked they were having a second childhood and a little too much bubble fun.

After the couple boarded their getaway vehicle, brother Bruce and my father decided it would be fun to blow bubbles directly into the open passenger car window.

I don't think the happy couple minded.

"It's a Boont!" and Other Creative Gifting

I recently blogged about a letter I prepared for my niece to give to her at her wedding, a letter full of quotes on love. I also had a little fun with the gift I gave her, a Nordicware Bundt cake pan. I'm a big fan of cutesy bakeware, and when I'm browsing in the kitchen and cookware department of a store, these are the sorts of things that catch my eye.

Anyone who has seen the original "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" will remember the significance of Bundt cake in that movie. It's a movie I remember watching with my brothers and their families one Christmas, and even the men were laughing at this "chick flick." In the movie, when the parents of the groom meet the parents of the bride, there is some cultural clashing. The parents of the groom bring a Bundt cake, a novelty to Toula's family. When presented with the cake, Toula's mother goes through a variety of pronunciations before getting it right. "Boont. Bonk. Bunk," etc. Later, she notes that there's a hole in this cake, and when it is served, there are flowers in that hole in the center.

I printed out a photo from the movie with some humorous captions that I wrapped with the gift, instructing my niece to remember to put flowers in the center. I also wrapped with the pan another print-out that's both a tribute to the movie and practical, a recipe for Greek yogurt lemon Bundt cake from The Food Librarian. I also made note that this blogger has a collection of 29 other Bundt cake recipes.

It's fun to add these little touches, and it reminds me that some of my best memories were made with gifts where I spent less money but more time and thought. I know many crafters like to give hand-made gifts. I am an occasional crafter and have given hand-made gifts, but often, as a writer, I have had fun with words, either as the main gift or an addition to the gift.

When I was a college student, I often wrote short stories as gifts for friends or family for their birthdays. I'm beginning to think I need to revive this tradition. I also wrote poems in handmade cards to give on special occasions. These weren't usually Shakespearean style sonnets but light humorous ditties. One year, I made Valentines for several of my female friends. One girl's last name was Ballentine, so you can just imagine what sort of poetry fun I had with that.

 The best memory I have of giving anyone anything was in seventh grade. I took metal shop that year. It might surprise you that I took metal shop, but the elective courses were in cycles of three, a different class per semester. Whichever cycle I chose would have included one shop class and one home economics type class, either sewing or cooking. Seventh grade was the year most of my family received something I made in metal shop for Christmas. For my brother Dan, that year, I made a desk organizer with a letter file and a pencil can marked with a hammered initial D. It was the accompanying letter that created most of the fun with this memory, a letter supposedly from Santa.

In order for you to appreciate the content of this letter, it is necessary to give you some background. The previous summer, our family moved. It was not a big move, just a move from one town to a neighboring town, but it did require me to change school systems. My brother Dan, who was a college student at the time, and I spent much of the summer packing boxes for our move and, while we did, we listened to a mainstream rock radio station. I was always very conscious that our parents wouldn't want us listening to music with too many sex or drug references or other negativity. One of those days, packing boxes, I heard the song "Bang Your Head" by Quiet Riot for the first time. I thought it was the stupidest song imaginable.

Most people would agree it's not a deep song fraught with meaning, and, perhaps, that the lyrics are a bit strange. I don't know when "headbanger" or "headbanging" became terms, but I was unfamiliar with either at the time. I understood it quite literally as instruction to bang your head into something like a wall, which really would make it the stupidest song imaginable. I ran to find my college age brother and told him about the stupid song I'd heard. Dan, being the family clown, promptly came up with an impromptu song composition of his own, "Smash Your Face," and for the rest of that summer, there were many spontaneous performances of the "Smash Your Face" song.

Dan also had a habit at that time of sneaking up behind me and greeting me with a smack on the rear. I've noticed that men's signs of affection often resemble acts of violence ... chest bumps, fist bumps, arm punches, smacks ... My cousin's wife tells me that, growing up, she greeted her brothers with smacks to the belly.

So, that December in 1984, my "letter from Santa" to brother Dan went something like this, "Mrs.Claus, the reindeer and I had a conference and decided you deserve this ... " I then proceeded to weigh his good and bad deeds and listed the butt smacks and the singing of punk songs like "Smash Your Face" among his "bad behaviors."

When Dan read that letter, which he did aloud, he laughed until tears rolled down his face, and that is the best memory I have of giving anyone anything.

Quotes on Love from Thoughtful People

This weekend, I will be traveling from New Jersey to Maine for my niece Amanda's wedding. She will be marrying her childhood friend, Ben, and I believe that their long friendship will give them a great foundation for a long "til death do us part" and happy marriage.

I bought her a Bundt cake pan as a wedding gift (more on that later,) but wanted to do something more creative in lieu of a traditional card. What I decided to do was type up some quotes on love that I have collected and put them in a letter to her and her groom. So, now I share these with you.

I almost titled this post, "Quotes on Love from Great Thinkers," and that fits a few of them. One is from Paul Newman. Was he a great thinker? Well, he seems to have some wisdom on relationships, and his marriage to Joanne Woodward shines out among Hollywood marriages as being particularly long, faithful and happy. On the lighter side, I've added some cute quotes from children. Some of these will seem cute and funny in a "Kids Say the Darndest Things" sort of way, but there are bits of wisdom in these too.

C.S. Lewis with his wife, Joy Davidman

"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last, but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after" is taken to mean "They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,' then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense -- love as distinct from 'being in love' -- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other, as you can love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run; being in love was the explosion that started it."

-- C.S. Lewis in "Mere Christianity"

 "If we love someone but do not love God, we demand total perfection and righteousness from that person, and when we do not get it, we become cruel and vindictive, yet we are demanding of a human being something which he or she cannot possibly give. There is only one Being who can completely satisfy to the absolute depth of the hurting human heart and that is the Lord Jesus Christ."

-- Oswald Chambers

Amanda and Ben

"The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you'll see their flaws. That's just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they're out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness' sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone  and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind; love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice; it's seeing the darkness in someone and defying the impulse to jump ship."

-- Internet personality known as the Great Kamryn

"Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the marriage. It should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of sacrifice or duty, but in the spirit of joy. It is expressing words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner. It is being the right partner."

 -- Paul Newman to his wife on their wedding day

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

 And on the lighter side ...

Actual Children's Answers to the Question "What is Love?"

 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give any of theirs." -- Chrissy, age 6.

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." -- Terri, age 4.

 "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." -- Danny, age 7.

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." -- Emily, age 8.

"Love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." -- Bobby, age 8.

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend you hate." -- Nikka, age 6.

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." -- Noelle, age 7.

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." -- Tommy, age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy was waving and smiling. Nobody else was doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." -- Cindy, age 8.

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." -- Clare, age 6.

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." -- Elaine, age 5.

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he's handsomer than Brad Pitt." -- Chris, age 7.

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you've left him alone all day." -- Mary Ann, age 4.

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." -- Lauren, age 4.

 "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even though his hands got arthritis too. That's love." -- Rebecca, age 8.

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." -- Karen, age 7.

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." -- Jessica, age 8.

My Dad, My Hero, My Helper

My father's a unique man. Father's Day cards are often centered on certain themes: sports, golf, fishing, hunting ... None of these themes seem to suit my father. My father seems nonchalant about sports. He'd rather watch Discovery Channel than watch a football game. He is full of fishing stories from his youth, but this is not a hobby he's pursued in recent years. I found a perfect Father's Day card for Dad several years ago. The overall print of the card was like a green circuit board. How suitable for my father, the retired electrical engineer.

I had a vague notion -- albeit very vague -- of circuit boards early on in life. Back in the '70s, a long time before personal computers became so common, Dad built his first computer from a kit. I remember trying to help him by putting the keys in the keyboard, only I was putting them in alphabetical order.

Dad earned 44 patents over his career at ITT. What exactly did he invent? Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

I jest, but actually that is not too far from the truth. Many of the projects Dad worked on he could not even tell his own family. I do know that he worked on a secure phone used by Ronald Reagan. Here is how Dad sums up his career in one of his online bios.

I worked for ITT for 43 years before retiring, getting about as many patents. Highlights would include designing one of the first computers specializing in voice processing, and designing the navigation computer system used in the GPS satellites. In addition to designing computer and communications hardware, I've written lots of software, including tools for hardware and software design.

Dad may not be a sports enthusiast, but he does have his hobbies. He lists his hobbies on one site as "recreational math." I never found math to be recreational, have you? I'm not entirely sure what that means, but he does sudoku puzzles, so I suppose they might be considered as recreational math. He also began selling these math art T-shirts on Zazzle. Here's an example, the crystal goblet T-shirt.

I'll let him describe it in his own words.

This design began as two data-flow diagrams to show the dispersal of data by a random permutation device (an application of U.S. patent 5,734,721). One diagram looked like the top of a goblet, and the other like the bottom, so the two diagrams were joined. Both parts show the same data-flow network (flow is downward). The bottom part traces where two data bits can go (starting at the top of the stem of the goblet), and the top part traces where two data bits can come from.

If you happen to share Dad's enthusiasm for math or know someone else who does, you can order this and other math design shirts at www.zazzle.com/mathart.

Dad also has his own art hobby ... origami. He has even created and published a few of his own origami designs, like the origami waterlily design below.

If you would like to create your own origami waterlilies, he has blogged his own origami tutorial for the waterlily design here.

Perhaps, this is beginning to sound more like a portfolio than a personal tribute, but I look up to my father, and growing up, I felt like my father could do anything.

Dad could and still can be goofy too!

Today, that opinion hasn't changed much, which is why I don't hesitate to ask him to help me in my hare-brained schemes.

A couple of years ago, I put on an Oktoberfest puppet show at my home church with the help of the puppetry team I lead.

I can't take credit for the beautiful liederhosen and dirndl costumes. Betty, my right hand woman, did that. One of the songs we used in our performance is this completely insane song, "The Chicken Yodel."

As I was listening to the music, my insane imagination came up with the idea that a chicken puppet would be on the top standing tier of my stage laying eggs, actually ping pong balls, which would fall down to the bottom kneeling tier where a little girl puppet, one of the cuties pictured, would try and catch them in her frying pan. I talked to Dad about this and wondered how to accomplish this ping pong ball craziness, and he came up with his design, a henhouse prop that would perch on the top tier of the stage and dispense the ping pong balls when the chicken roosted and hit a lever.

Above each nest is a wire trigger to release,, on each depression, an egg from the storage bin to a hole through the nest so that it looks like the chicken is laying an egg that drops out the bottom of the nest.

The gate mechanism lets one egg roll toward the hole, while stopping the next egg from advancing.

I had something simpler in mind, but Dad had come up with a rather complex contraption. He kept testing it, tweaking it and perfecting it. Dad spent hours and hours on this prop, and in the end, it was very successful, with children sitting front row during showtime, laughing and excited over the escapee ping pong balls rolling their way.

This is the origami folding, puppet prop making, sudoku puzzling dad I adore. It would take many more pages to express just how much he means to me.

To read about one of my favorite childhood memories with Dad, click here.